Tuesday, May 09, 2006

NFL Draft Recap – brought to you by Yuengling Premium Light Beer

Imagine Nicole Ritchie making a concerted effort to be dumber. Or Wal-Mart going out of its way to be more white-trash. Or country music becoming more annoying. Basically that is what the Bears did at the NFL Draft this year. I’m not at all saying that any of the draftees are dumb, white-trash, or annoying – although they could be, I have never met any of them personally. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I’m asking this…why do you take a team that includes one of the best defenses in NFL history (and one that is still very young) and on the other side - one of the worst offenses in the history of the world – and draft all defense???

New rule this year…you can’t win a 0 to 0 game. Another new rule – no matter how much you dominate a game defensively, you can’t get the other team into negative points. So there will be no 0 to -6 wins either.

Here’s why they did this – because these guys hate me. The front office in Chicago hates me personally. So in actuality, I should be the one apologizing to my fellow Bears fans, because the only reason they continually draft based on rock-paper-scissors methodology is to spite me. It all stems from this little incident that took place after the 98 draft - I won't go into details, but it basically involves me dropping a deuce on Mr. McCaskey's front lawn in objection to the Curtis Enis selection. I hate to say I told you so...........................but I digress.


Sidebar - here is a truly great play on a great song referencing another Bears draft blunder:
Cade McNown.

Rexy baby – I hope you have a few tricks up your sleeve – this squad is going to need them. Actually – lets start by having that “sleeve” on the field for more than 2 games this season…then we’ll move on to your secret magic.

As for the other teams in the draft, it couldn’t have been worse than this – so congratulations.



2006 ND Football Preview

1. Quinn to Samardzija.
2. PAT is good.
3. Repeat.